To anonymous
In a recent post of mine (see post) Anonymous posted a comment.
He/She asked, "would you agree that offence is a form of hurt as well?"
No, I do not. Please understand that my post on offense does not in anyway negate a tragic event done to you by someone else.
I, and many of my friends, have had shocking things done to us throughout our life time. Among my large circle of friends we can put together a list that includes the following:
falsely accused of corporate theft
Raped
Physically assaulted by parents
Hijacked
Beaten up by a spouse
Sold into prostitution by a spouse
We all have a decision to make. Hold on to bitterness and offense and declare to the world in self-pity that it owes us something... or we forgive and release and come to terms with it.
This does not in anyway remove the fact that justice must still take place. I for instance do not have to be a bitter person to send my hijackers to jail. Should they ever be found, they will have my forgiveness... but will be prosecuted under the law.
In the end hurt is unavoidable... Offense however is avoidable.
This is how so many thousands of Christians today are able to live at peace within themselves while being tortured in Chinese prisons, having their houses burnt and families beaten in India, or having their social rights of being able to buy bread and milk taken away.
I have walked a long journey of forgiving people.
The teacher who beat me with a belt when I was 3 years old leaving me terrified and unable to speak to people out of fear until I was 19 years old. The drunken driver that reversed into my car and blamed me for it "because my lights were on and he couldn't see me" or the police who then said "it's not our problem". The massive American corporate company that destroyed my parents dreams. The kids at school that made fun of me. The parents of friends that made fun of me. The hijackers that held a gun to my head, robbed me and threatened to kill me and my girlfriend. The ex girlfriend that spread malicious lies. The guardian on a school tour who beat me up because I went to toilet and said goodnight to someone after lights out. The teacher who mocked me because I didn't do my homework because my grandfather passed away and I was at the funeral. The friends that abandoned me when I stopped drinking with them. The principal who let me almost freeze to death during winter because we were not allowed to wear jerseys without a blazer and my family couldn't afford the R120 ($20) for a 2nd hand one. The work colleague that borrowed R300 and never returned it. The friend who spat 2 years of loving support and friendship in my face because I took sides with another friend who I saw her abuse. My father who never affirmed me or told me he was proud of me and that I could achieve anything in life I wanted to.
The list could go on... but it is extremely difficult trying to remember offense when you have forgiven it. In fact it seems silly trying to bring them up.
Here's something I often say. You get 2 kinds of old people. Those that everybody loves and those that everybody can't stand being around because of their negativity and cynicism. What's the difference? Life events perhaps? No... choice is the difference. Calamity comes to everyone sooner or later.
If you (anyone reading this) are bitter about anything. Please, please, please. I beg you. Take responsibility for your happiness. Forgive. Let go. And live in peace. Sleep better. Love better.
-->Shining Brighter
He/She asked, "would you agree that offence is a form of hurt as well?"
No, I do not. Please understand that my post on offense does not in anyway negate a tragic event done to you by someone else.
I, and many of my friends, have had shocking things done to us throughout our life time. Among my large circle of friends we can put together a list that includes the following:
falsely accused of corporate theft
Raped
Physically assaulted by parents
Hijacked
Beaten up by a spouse
Sold into prostitution by a spouse
We all have a decision to make. Hold on to bitterness and offense and declare to the world in self-pity that it owes us something... or we forgive and release and come to terms with it.
This does not in anyway remove the fact that justice must still take place. I for instance do not have to be a bitter person to send my hijackers to jail. Should they ever be found, they will have my forgiveness... but will be prosecuted under the law.
In the end hurt is unavoidable... Offense however is avoidable.
This is how so many thousands of Christians today are able to live at peace within themselves while being tortured in Chinese prisons, having their houses burnt and families beaten in India, or having their social rights of being able to buy bread and milk taken away.
I have walked a long journey of forgiving people.
The teacher who beat me with a belt when I was 3 years old leaving me terrified and unable to speak to people out of fear until I was 19 years old. The drunken driver that reversed into my car and blamed me for it "because my lights were on and he couldn't see me" or the police who then said "it's not our problem". The massive American corporate company that destroyed my parents dreams. The kids at school that made fun of me. The parents of friends that made fun of me. The hijackers that held a gun to my head, robbed me and threatened to kill me and my girlfriend. The ex girlfriend that spread malicious lies. The guardian on a school tour who beat me up because I went to toilet and said goodnight to someone after lights out. The teacher who mocked me because I didn't do my homework because my grandfather passed away and I was at the funeral. The friends that abandoned me when I stopped drinking with them. The principal who let me almost freeze to death during winter because we were not allowed to wear jerseys without a blazer and my family couldn't afford the R120 ($20) for a 2nd hand one. The work colleague that borrowed R300 and never returned it. The friend who spat 2 years of loving support and friendship in my face because I took sides with another friend who I saw her abuse. My father who never affirmed me or told me he was proud of me and that I could achieve anything in life I wanted to.
The list could go on... but it is extremely difficult trying to remember offense when you have forgiven it. In fact it seems silly trying to bring them up.
Here's something I often say. You get 2 kinds of old people. Those that everybody loves and those that everybody can't stand being around because of their negativity and cynicism. What's the difference? Life events perhaps? No... choice is the difference. Calamity comes to everyone sooner or later.
If you (anyone reading this) are bitter about anything. Please, please, please. I beg you. Take responsibility for your happiness. Forgive. Let go. And live in peace. Sleep better. Love better.
-->Shining Brighter
posted by Gareth at 2:09 PM
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